Ever wondered why some things we think will make us happy just don’t cut it in the long run? Since starting the ‘Science of Well-being course by Yale online, I’ve completed a daily walking challenge with 25 peers, started daily meditation using the Balance app and incorporated more yoga and pilates into my workout routine. These experiences have shown me that genuine well-being often lies beyond what society suggests.
In this post, I’ll share the gems of wisdom I’ve learned from the course, shedding light on the misconceptions we often hold about happiness. I’ll explore the science behind what truly makes us happy and discover practical tips to elevate our well-being.
Chasing False Happiness
Our pursuit of happiness can leave us lured by shiny objects. The course refers to a survey that revealed what things most people believe will bring them true happiness:
- a high-paying job
- an increase in wealth
- owning luxury cars and extravagant material possessions
- true love
- the elusive “perfect” body
- perfect grades and academic success
Like many others, I would have said that these things were the keys to a fulfilling life. However the course at Yale revealed a profound truth: these pursuits often lead to temporary bursts of happiness, only to leave us searching for more.
The concept of “hedonic adaptation” offers a valuable insight into this phenomenon. It suggests that when we attain something we desire, it brings us happiness for a short period of time, but we get used to it and value it less over time. Soon, we start comparing our achievements to those of others, or we shift our focus to the next thing we believe will make us ~even happier~.
The bottom line is, what we think will make us happy is often completely inaccurate. We overestimate the impact of external factors like a bigger paycheck or a potential break-up, on our happiness.
Think back to a time when you achieved something you longed for—a new job, a dream car, or a perfect grade. Initially, the sense of accomplishment and joy is undeniable. However as time passes, the excitement wears off and we find ourselves searching for the next source of happiness. This is hedonic adaptation at work, and it’s a powerful force that can keep us perpetually chasing fleeting pleasures.
I remember a time when landing a higher paying job was my main goal. After the initial thrill of success, it wasn’t long before I started measuring my worth against my colleagues and their achievements. This comparison led to an unending cycle of striving for more, something we all find ourselves doing from time to time. But do you have a cut off point where enough will be enough?
The takeaway here is that the pursuit of these external markers of happiness can leave us feeling unfulfilled. The Science of Well-being delves into practical strategies to escape the cycle of false happiness to embrace a more authentic and enduring sense of well-being.
The Science of Happiness
Happiness is a complex combination of psychology, neuroscience and our own perceptions. One of the most eye-opening revelations from the course is that approximately 40% of our happiness is within our control. This means that a significant portion of our well-being isn’t predetermined by genetics or external circumstances; it’s determined by the choices we make and the mindset we cultivate.
We also tend to assess happiness relative to reference points. For example, your house may be lovely, but if it’s not as impressive as your friends, you might find it less satisfying.
Armed with this knowledge, we can begin to reclaim control over our well-being and discover the true sources of lasting happiness.
Strategies for Genuine Happiness
1. Rethinking “Awesome Stuff”: Instead of equating “awesome stuff” with material possessions, we can shift our focus towards experiences, relationships, personal growth and well-being.
2. Prioritizing Experiences: Research consistently shows that experiences bring more happiness than possessions. Whether it’s traveling to a new destination, learning a new skill, or simply enjoying quality time with loved ones, investing in experiences enriches our lives.
3. Beating Hedonic Adaptation: Understanding how hedonic adaptation works is key to countering its effects. By recognizing that our joy from new achievements or acquisitions is temporary, we can actively work to savor these moments.
4. Practicing Mindfulness: Taking a moment to truly be present can significantly boost our overall well-being.
5. Gratitude: By acknowledging what we have and expressing gratitude daily, we invite more positivity into our lives.
6. Resetting Reference Points: To achieve greater contentment, it’s essential to reset our reference points. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we can focus on our personal journey and progress.
7. Interrupting Consumption: Sometimes, taking a break from the things we enjoy can make us appreciate them more.
As we incorporate these strategies into our lives, we can rewire our brains for lasting happiness.
Happiness in Work and Life
The course emphasizes that achieving happiness in both work and life is not only possible but also essential for our overall well-being. Here are some ways I’ve learned to find happiness at work:
- Research indicates that finding a job that allows you to use your signature strengths and skills is far more fulfilling than as high paying a job as possible. When you align your work with your natural talents, you’re more likely to experience job satisfaction and happiness.
- Have you ever had moments at work where you’re so engrossed in a task that time seems to fly by? That’s called “flow,” a state of complete immersion in an activity. Achieving flow in your job can lead to heightened happiness and a sense of accomplishment.
- Social connections play a vital role in our happiness, even in the professional sphere. Building strong relationships with colleagues, clients and peers fosters a sense of belonging and camaraderie, enhancing job satisfaction.
As you can see, happiness in work and life isn’t solely about the money and external achievements. It’s about finding meaning and purpose in what you do, nurturing positive relationships and maintaining a healthy balance between work and leisure.
The Power of Mindfulness and Well-Being Practices
Mindfulness practices are powerful tools that can transform our lives. The course highlights their significance, shedding light on how they can bring positive changes. Here’s how to get the basics right:
1. Mindfulness via Meditation: At the core of mindfulness is meditation. Regular meditation practice allows us to cultivate a heightened awareness of the present moment. Whether it’s through focused breathing or body scans, this practice can lead to reduced stress, increased emotional regulation and an overall sense of well-being.
2. Exercise: The benefits of exercise extend beyond physical health; they encompass mental and emotional well-being as well. Regular physical activity releases endorphins and boosts mood. It can also reduce stress, anxiety, and depression while improving self-esteem and cognitive function.
3. Good Sleep: Adequate and restful sleep is at the centre of well-being. Poor sleep quality can negatively impact our mood, cognitive function, and overall health. Prioritizing a consistent sleep schedule and creating a peaceful sleep environment can significantly enhance our daily well-being.
As I become more intentional about incorporating these practices into my life, I began to witness a transformation. Daily meditation sessions with the Balance app not only allowed me to start my days with a clear and focused mind but also offered a sense of inner calm that persisted throughout the day. My commitment to regular exercise helped me to get a restful sleep.
We’ve learned that true well-being isn’t about chasing mirages like high-paying jobs or material possessions. To achieve genuine happiness, we need to redefine what truly matters, prioritizing experiences over things, and embracing mindfulness.
Now, I invite you to start your own journey toward genuine happiness. Take these actionable tips and exercises, experiment with them, tailor them to your unique path and remember that it’s about progress, not perfection.
I hope you find inspiration in the insights shared here, and ultimately discover the lasting happiness that’s within your reach.
Have you taken Yale’s Science of Well-being course? Let me know your takeaways in the comments!
